sweet success

DH and i went to busch gardens in williamsburg, va today!  

normally this type of trip would cause me to do at least one, but most likely two... of two things:

1) freak out and stress about how all the food there was going to make me fat

2) eventually given in and allow myself a "cheat day"--which would ultimately turn into a "binge" day.

and neither happened!! 

DH and i looked online and found out that most of the restaurants served garden salads and grilled chicken type things.  so right from the get-go, i knew i had some good choices available. because we were going to be with a fairly large group, however, and had no control over where we ultimately decided to eat-- we also packed a soft lunch cooler with some protein powder mix, some fruit and lowfat granola bars.  i went in strong and confident!

as it turned out, the place that the group decided to go for lunch had salad, fresh dill pickles, and watermelon but no lean protein.  i ate the salad, fruit and pickle... an hour or so later, DH and i sought out our cooler and some cups of water to mix our shakes.  it was perfect!

later on the way home, we snacked on pears and granola bars.

and finally for dinner, i ate a large salad with albacore tuna mixed with spicy brown mustard and salsa.  it was AMAZING and i feel so good for having survived a social event without sacrificing my personal goals!

whew... life is back to "normal"

okay... if my last post was me hitting rock bottom, i have to say i'm glad that part is over and done with.  

the last few days i've managed to get myself back on track with working out and eating clean.  my new copy of oxygen came yesterday, so that was like a mini reward for having started back to the gym the day before, and a nice lil' the kick in the pants to get there yesterday.  

this morning, i'm stuck at home waiting for fedex to deliver DH's new macbook so i worked out at home using the Barry's Bootcamp.  Barry is very optimistic and full of positive reinforcement (which normally, for a b*tch like myself,  means i spend more of the workout cursing at the TV than actually focussing on the exercises), but he really does give you a great workout.  and after i was done... i was DRENCHED in sweat.  i really did work my butt off.  45 minutes* of hardcore focussed training with enough cardio to get that heart pumping... 

 if you're not familiar with the program, allow me to give you a quick rundown:  there are 2 basic dvd's (upper and lower body) and each one is 21 minutes of targeted training with resistance bands and a workout/stability ball-- lovingly called 'the transformer' in the dvd's-- (which i guess makes you megan fox for working out on it!).  anyway, the core philosophy of Barry's routines is that you do each targeted exercise for 1 minute, with 30 seconds of rest between moves.  the good news is:  no sets.  just get through that first minute and you're on to the next thing.** he also gives you "beginner" and "advanced" models to follow should you require modification, so at least when you buy the dvd's, you're investing in something that can grow with you.  (I think i recently saw the program on sale at Sports Authority for like $30-50... not bad for a DVD system that you're going to be able to use and see results from for at least a while!)  the "bad news" (if you can consider it that way) is, you have to make that minute of exercise count and if something feels "too easy" you're probably doing it wrong or its time to step up your resistance/level.  

do not be fooled by the whole "work out dvd" stigma... i know you know what i'm talking about (Sweatin' to the Oldies, anyone?) i consider myself a fairly in-shape person.  i'm no Jamie Eason (my hero!) but these exercises are challenging!  there are more than a few that when i first popped in the DVDs, i had to follow the beginner level model...and the next day, i was feeling the burn! *** the intermediate and advanced are great as well-- 

my favorite part, however, is the "bonus section" with additional 12 minute/each workouts targeting abs, upper and lower body and in beginner/advanced modes.  i adore-- let me say it again... i ADORE the beginner ab workout.  and no rolling your eyes at "beginner" because there are still 3 sublevels represented by their own model in that routine as well.  

* i did the 21 minute lower body with both 12 min/ea upper body and abs bonus sections

** i have to interject a story here about my husband and "sets"... truth be told, i would kill to have a physique like DH.  he's built like a soccer player: long and lean, full of muscle with a body fat % that would sell my soul for... and he works out-- but the man. hates. sets.  one time we were working out together trying a new routine i'd found an one of the moves was "walking lunges with bicep curls."  we did 15 across the room using moderate weights-- got to the end and he was like, "wow... those really suck.  i mean, i worked and i can feel it."  i replied, "yeah, imagine how great it'll feel when we finish the 2nd and 3rd sets" and his face just dropped.  it was priceless!

**minor clarification:  many people (at least that i've encountered) consider "feeling the burn" to be synonymous with "pain"-- to me they are not the same.  when i say "feeling the burn," i mean, "i feel like i accomplished something with my workout."  when i say, "and i was hurting or in pain..." well, then i mean I WAS IN PAIN.  probably because i did something stupid or incorrect or i just plain over did it-- which i have a tendency to do when i'm really excited for something.    

back to basics...

well the last two weeks have been super challenging for me-- i made it through DH's graduation fairly well.  i still worked out in the morning and i tried to eat clean for breakfast & lunch (the meals i had the most control over) and then-- well to be quite honest, i drank my face off to survive grandma.  in fact i was such a emotional wreck during the whole bloody 3 days (thurs-sat) with her and her nasty and/or obnoxious comments to me/around me that i managed to shut my bowels down.  yup... down for the count.  didn't get 'em going again til Tuesday (the 9th) morning, neither.  since then its been social hour after social hour and dinners and drinks and schmoozing up the whole new group of friends, etc... its been failure after failure for me when it comes to eating clean because i hate drawing attention to myself and i'm such an emotional disaster that i'm afraid that by asking for water or just having salad-- instead of the fried chicken-- that someone will say something to me and i'll be mortified.  

the agoraphobia is in full swing... i'd just as soon crawl into a whole and die than do this much longer.  when people look at me, they see this fun, bubbly, quick-witted jersey girl... if they could see on the outside how i am on the inside- i doubt anyone would come near me.  i feel that ugly.

did i mention my MIL is arriving today?  *faints*